My mom told me I was the worst daughter anyone could ever ask for.
That was in 2011.
It tore my heart out. I felt unloved, resented, and like the biggest piece of shit.
So what did I do?
I cried. I begged for her to see me in a different light. I defended myself. I gave examples of how her statements held no truth. When that didn’t work, I found that all my actions around her were based on trying to make her love me.
Here we are approaching 2018 and while I will spare you from the details of our relationship over the last seven years, but her expectations and me not living up to them hasn’t changed. However, feeling like something was wrong with me or that I was unworthy of her love HAS changed.
You see, expectations of others are a distraction from our path. Their expectations are basically them trying to make you be someone you’re not and then making you feel bad about it.
Through my spiritual awakening I have found that the foundation of everything is finding our way back to self love.
When we love ourselves enough the expectations of others can be seen in a different light. You can see those who have expectations are actually grasping for control. The control of love. They themselves feel like they have to make rules on how people should act and if they don’t act out the way they want them too then they punish them.
Thats like being punished for being yourself.
We must allow them to have their human experience even if it means they are judging you or withholding love from you. As much as that hurts, when you love yourself enough, you no longer seek love from external forces.
We must honor our path enough not to be distracted by their expectations. Slowing our growth only to please others is sacrificing your life and putting them first.
When you can walk forward in peace without owing anyone an explanation, all while honoring their right to believe what they want, you become lighter and you can now be free of expectations.
I hope my personal experience and my self reflection can help someone cut the cords of attachment to other’s expectations.
I have also made a YouTube video on this subject. Please leave me a comment and let me know how this helps your journey.